This past summer has been a crazy ride, but now summer is over and school has started back up again. However this time, I wont be joining the classes.
I work in the costume shop and in the box office so I’ll still be involved, but I wont be in class.
Also I am not living in the commons this year. I visited the commons tonight and it brought back such a rush of memories, but at the same time.. it feels very different from last year… as it should.
The reason for me telling you all this is that.. basically this has been a very emotional summer for me. It’s been a very trusting in God summer for me. To a degree I never had before, which is good, but I’ve been through the fire I feel more than once and I’ve felt broken more then once.
However tonight I feel was my final breaking point. The point where everything hit me and I went through every emotion.
I came home and was talking with my roommate, and amongst our conversation we laughed we vented our frustrations, anger and hurt about so many things happening, and then we laughed. However I could not stop laughing and then the laughing turned in to violent tears and crying.. I thought I had calmed myself and on my way to the kitchen t put my plate in the dishwasher I all of a sudden just collapsed and started laughing and crying again.
My roommate wasn’t really sure what to do so she called my best friend and Jessie knew right away, that this was my breaking point. You see this has happened to me once before on a youth retreat where God hit me so hard I couldn’t stop laughing and I couldn’t move for several hours.
So my roommate just left me on the floor because there wasn’t really anything else to do, and I laid there in the fetal position crying, and I talked to God and balled my eyes out. It was a heavy deep in my chest kind of cry. And I just let it all out.
Change has always been hard to me. And when plans that I thought were set in stone don’t work out I stress a little. But this month I really have been feeling peace about school. However there have many other things to occur in my life that having nothing to do with school.
But it was all released tonight in that 40 minute craziness. This is a brand new year, and it has so many new opportunities available in it. My journey is a unique one. One that is meant to teach and mold and prepare me for my destiny. So through all the friendships, all the hardships, all the crap and happy times, it’s apart of what God is doing. He’s allowing me to be stretched and tested and broken
And the process has sucked my friends.
But the clearing is up ahead and it’s a beautiful sight. And I am coming out of this season with my head held high and the expectation of the future.
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