Chisel- a tool used to cut or shape wood, stone, metal or OTHER HARD MATERIAL.
Have you ever felt God chiseling away at you? The person you are.. your character?
I felt it today… I mean really if I think about it I’ve felt it all along, but today I feel like he took out a huge chuck of something that wasn’t suppose to be there… And then he showed it to me and I cried. It was gross, icky and black.
The past two years have been a season of me finding out who I am and God has just been chiseling away at me as I grow…. Well this summer in-particular I have felt like I’ve come to my crossroads for this season of my life. The roads? Who I was, who I am, Who I could be… oh the choices.. I feel like I’ve gone down each and every one of these roads and doubled back this summer and I stay at this crossroad trying to decide if I should make a whole new road that doesn’t include any of the three. However it doesnt work that way… They’ll all follow me.
The point is… amongst everything I’ve felt the chiseling… God slowly taking one chunk of gunge ( yes I mean gunge not grunge) off at a time.. and occasionally I put it back on. But I’ve felt it, and I’ve seen it, and as I look back to where I was when I moved here and where I am today… well… I’m an entirely different woman… in numerous ways.
But what I came to today was… have I back tracked? Have I back tracked to a place I never actually visited? I skipped out on many things as a child and as a teenager and generally when people surpass a normal transition in life they have to go through it at some point and it generally comes out in their 20’s and 30’s … even later if they continue to suppress it. Well I wasn’t suppressing things. I just let them come. And I suffered the consequences… or am suffering the consequences… not all bad, mind you, but consequences all the same.
So, yes, in a sense I’ve back tracked in some places… but I’m so far ahead in others. I guess God’s working on balancing me out. And becoming balanced hurts. And yes, sometimes it feels like Hell… or our concept of what Hell could feel like. But things are always better on the other side if we just let him chisel away and mold us the way he wants to.
That’s why today I just cried instead of making excuses for the gunge. I had no excuse. I had no clever reasoning, it was just there… and I had to deal with it…
Embrace the chiseling… life is just better when you do.