I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you. I've gotten so caught up in things that have been going on in my life, I haven’t taken the time to be there for you. I haven’t even been praying for you like I should.
You see I've been going through this season of change and growth and learning. And one thing after another would pile on top of itself and I wasn't even getting the God time I needed to stay filled up. And because of that and my own selfishness I stayed away. Unconnected. Because I can’t help if I’m not filled.
So many things have been happening in my life and in my heart that I didn't have time to process and focus. I even forgot how to handle situations. I became sulky at points and melancholy. True I'm allowed to have off days. But months? that's not ok.
Recently I had been looking for a song I could sing that dealt with my situation. And all the songs I found really just egged on the frustration of the situation. Until today I simply put on some worship music and "How Great is our God" came on.. And I broke. I just cried. I'd forgotten to simply worship Him when trials come my way.
I was out with a friend yesterday and she just reminded me of how much I had changed over the past year. And it's true.. God's done so much work in me. This time last year I wasn't sure if I would be able to stay in the commons because I didn't know how I was going to pay rent. And I didn't have a job, or a car. I was in a different place mentally and spiritually. And I've grown and learned so much. I now have 3 jobs and a car. I just signed a lease for my first apartment. The financial situation with the school still hasn't changed but I have such peace about it. God's provided just like he said he would.
And yet in all that I've let some really minor things get me down. So I'm sorry. I'm suppose to be here for you. And even if not physically at least prayerfully. I'm sorry I haven’t the prayer warrior you came to know me as. I’m sorry if I've failed you as friends. I love you all so much and you all have impacted my life and who I am and how I've grown in ways you'll never even know.
Please accept my apology and know that I will be trying to do better. To be the friend you need.