So over the past couple of weeks I’ve been frustrated and struggling with my singleness. And it’s not that I don’t like being single, because I do. It defiantly has a lot of perks that I enjoy. But I’m also getting to that place where I’m ready to start my next journey. I found myself not content with where I was and questioning things about myself. I was getting myself down and was sending myself into a whirlwind. Things like: “Am I not appealing or attractive? Why don’t guys like me? Why is it that the only guys who have shown interest are seriously disturbed, or have more issues then I do? Does that mean something’s wrong with me? “ etc.
Not the best thoughts I know. But I’m human and this is where things were going. However here’s the catch. I know that I’m beautiful. I know that God thinks I’m very special and he adores me. I know that I have great qualities as a person, friend and as a woman of God. So if I’m so awesome… then why are boys/guys/men so dumb or oblivious in seeing it? These are some things I’ve been asking God and myself for quite some time now.
Well guess what. You can’t make someone like you. It doesn’t matter what you do it just won’t work. You are attractive all by yourself. And the person God has for you is going to fall for you. You don’t have to change a thing. You wont have to loose weight or change your hair, or change at all. Because you yourself are enough. And you are who they’ve been looking for,
I had some chats with two very good friends tonight who reminded me that when I meet that person that God has for me, I wont have to make an effort. It will be specific for what I need and special to me. And I wont have to try to get something going because it will just happen… and it wont be stressful.
I am one of those girls that I feel like God has hidden. I know I’m special. I look at my life and see all the times God has protected me from making poor choices. So many people who have a similar history to mine end up in so many awful places. Making extremely dangerous and poor choices in their lives.
But God’s protected me from those paths. Those situations haven’t even been options for me. And granted I made a choice young enough to follow God and to stay obedient to him. And as long as I’ve walked with him he’s protected me.
If God cares enough to protect me then I know he loves me and thinks I’m special. If I’m so special why don’t guys notice? God covered their eyes so they couldn’t see. God has a certain person for me and He will see me the way God sees me and he will now how special and precious I am.
In the mean time I will bask in the Love of my Heavenly Father who thinks the universe of me.
And you know what? Knowing that God is hiding me is exciting! Just think of the man that will see me… he’ll match my special preciousness… and that just fills me with butterflies.