Vulnerable

So, being a Regent Student does have its tough moments. Like money.. but I've heard money problems is not just a college thing but a general struggle. As a person I’ve always prayed against financial struggles for when I was married. I've seen to many families broken up over money that I didn't want that to be a problem for my future husband and me.

Well God has been very good to me. a couple weeks ago I was freaking out about paying rent because I haven't found a job yet and I have no incoming income. My parents are not helping with college so I’m on my own and have done everything I know how to do. The government of course thinks I have plenty of money because of my parent’s income but they don’t seem to understand that I’m on my own. So anyway one day someone slipped an envelope with my name on it under my door. Well it had money to go towards my rent. It wasn’t the whole amount but I was grateful for anything. Well I turned it in and it was all I had.

Yesterday I got a notice saying I had until the 15th to come up with the rest or I’ll be kicked out of the commons by the 20th. I was... disheartened to say the least.

I sat on my bedroom floor crying... not sure what to do... so tired... and I said.. "God, I cant fight anymore... its all out of me." And I just cried and then i sensed him and he came and he picked me up in his arms and said "I'll carry you now" And I just remember crying into his shoulder as he stroked my hair saying it would be all right. And he rocked me and shhhd me... and I just cried into his shoulder. And then he danced with y in his arms. It was slow and I didn’t have to do anything. I was up in his arms like a 5 year old child.. in the fetal position... and he sang over me and loved me.

It was amazing.

So to those of you who are struggling with finances, God's gonna carry you through this hard time. Just be fully vulnerable and say "Daddy I cant do this on my own" and he'll come and pick you up and carry you through while whispering how much he loves you.