Oh the day I've had

So today I went to the library, got a bunch of books and songbooks for my audition tomorrow. Went to work orientation where I watched movies and filled out more paperwork and got my schedule for the next week.

Then came home grabbed some food, made my friend Geoffrey a going away card and then headed over to his party. It was a very chill group. We at first just sat around and talked and then watched a rather funny comedian whose name leaves me at the moment. And then we played the game Scene It? I was not good at this game but Geoffrey was and he won the game, which is good considering it was his going away party. Then it was suggested we go on an adventure. And it was up to Geoffrey and he wanted to go explore the COMM building. Well there were only 2 COMM students in the entire group. So we went and our keys were shut off sadly… However I used my sneaky skills and got us into the COMM building and in and around different places that Geoffrey had always wanted to see. It was quite exciting showing a bunch of non-theatre kids around. It was fun watching their faces and seeing the realities of the life I live. It was so much fun.

But then I had to say goodbye as they went to explore Regent for the last time.

On my way home I talked to my friend Travis and wished him a happy birthday and that was good to hear his voice again.

Now I’m going to attempt to do an 8min ab workout, spend time with God, and sleep… yep that is my plan J

New Home, New Relationship, Growth Amongst It All

This new home that I’m living in is very interesting. My room is nice and probably the biggest room I’ve ever lived in... no Smoke Tree was probably the same size I just never new it with 3 people living in it. But anyway.. I made the room all me and I love it.

The people I live with, are cookie and crazy and fun and funny and weird and just all around a bunch of fun. First there’s Derrick. He and I share a bathroom. Derrick is a strange one but I love him for his strangeness. He’s got black hair piercings and tattoo’s. But he loves Jesus like crazy and he’s fun to be around. He’s a drama queen. He loves shopping and he’s all about his appearance. He’s not arrogant or egotistical... he’s just… Derrick. I haven’t had much opportunity to get to know him considering how little he’s home. But when we have talked he seems cool. We have these fake fights like a brother and sister and slam our bedroom doors at the same time.

At times it feels like Derrick and I are Tianna and Andrew’s kids, which is ironic considering both Derrick and I Are older then Andrew and Tianna. But it’s a fun little family dynamic. I’m learning to like it.

And then comes Andrew, Tianna’s husband. He’s a funny guy. He seems shy at first. But he’s just as corky and silly so perfect for Tianna. They really are cute together.

And then comes Tianna. My crazy friend. Tianna is becoming one of my best friends and she is so much fun. She has her moments but so do I and we have had our moments of rubbing up against each other, but we work it out. God is really stretching both of us in this relationship. Which is good. I need friends who will challenge me and stretch me and will sharpen me. I love Tianna and her craziness. It allows me to remember that I’m crazy and I’m slowly letting the edge go and be cool and chill… like I am at home with my family. I could be that person in the commons.. it didn’t feel homey I guess… it didn’t feel like a real apartment… it was a dorm.

But I really do love this home that I’m in. Every one loves Jesus and even though there are times of frustration we work really well together. I love all of them and look forward to this summers adventures.

Also Praise the Lord, it looks like I have a job at Ruby Tuesdays. YAY!!!! Praise God!!! Because I really need this job. I’m hoping I can still audition at community theatres. I’m learning to expect God to do what I ask him to do. It’s something I use to do but then I forgot or backtracked or something. But as I said in previous posts.. this is a new season where God and I are working on our relationship. Where I expect God to show up in my life. I expect the supernatural. I expect the favor he has already given me. God is so good and I forgot so many times this past semester to thank him for the little things. Look for Him in the small things of my day. But that’s what I’m doing again.

So here I am in my new season and God is blessing. And I’m so honored and privileged in his love and blessing. I so don’t deserve all that Christ has and is doing for me and their isn’t enough praise that could come out of my lips for it all. There aren’t words to express my love and gratitude in my great big God.

I love you God, Abba Father! You e so awesome and I just give you praise for all you’ve done, all you’re doing, and all that you’re going to do in my life in the near and far future!!!

My new Adventure

So I’m all moved out of the commons and moved into my new home. My room’s all set up and I have grocery’s and I’m basically all settled in…. which is nice. Its nice being off campus for a while.

Now however is my mad dash search for a job. I’ve applied to several places and am hoping to get a job by the end of the week. I’ve talked to a couple people who have gotten jobs really quickly so I have hope and anticipation on that end.

I’m excited about this new adventure I’m about to embark on. I’ve also started looking for audition opportunities in the area and am going to start auditioning, just to have the experience and see where it takes me.

This means I need to work on my resume and get my headshot more professional looking.

It’s gonna be a rough road but I’m excited to take it. I get all excited about this new adventure and what God has in-store for me. This is going to be a good season. A new season, learning new things. Being stretched and tested… Or maybe this will be a resting period for me. Where God and I can just work on our relationship. I think that is apart of what this new season is. Refocusing on our relationship.

To be honest I got caught up in all the drama of the commons and its really not healthy for me… especially since I don’t like drama. I’m to much of a burden barer to bein up in everyone’s business.

It’ll be good to have some distance, and be more on my own.

Now a car and a job is what I need.

Thank you Lord for providing for me needs before I even ask for them J

End of the year

It’s the end of the year and I’m all packed up and moving out this evening. It’s been a an amazing year and though I’ve had my tough moments, I’ve loved it. It’s been a good growing season. I’ve been stretched in places I didn’t know I could stretch. But God has been faithful to me, even in my low moments where I gripped and complained. He’s so good to me still.

My summer plans? Get a job. My life has been thrown into a loop these past two weeks but I was reminded to keep looking at this as my adventure. My life adventure that I dreamed and fantasized about all growing up. And now here I am… not where I thought I’d be, or doing what I thought I’d be doing. But I am happy. I’m taking it moment by moment and asking God to reveal himself in these moments.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

This scripture is probably one of my favorites because it reminds me of several things. 1. I’m not in control. 2. God has a better plan for my life then I do. 3. All I have to do is seek him out, and he’ll be there for me.

God is still God

Here I am at the end of this year. This past college experience has been... well an experience. I've met amazing people and God's challenged me in many different ways. As I pack up my things and look at the new adventure I'm about to embark on as the summer rolls around I think back to where I was a year ago. How I've always marveled at peoples stories of things they've done in there past and here I am looking at where I've been and what I've done so far and I'm seeing how our stories form and how they make us what we are.

I was stressing these past couple of months about so many things, and now that the things I was stressing about are here I'm not as stressed as I should be. Or thought I would be. I have wonderful people in my life who have this amazing ability of keeping me on my feet and not allow me to go crazy and over think things. And remind me of the way I use to look at these situations happening around me.

Moving is an adventure, and though it has its scary moments... I think to what my dreams are. Of traveling and ministering... and this here little moment scarred me? Then when God brings my dreams around what would I do with them? How would I respond in the transition time?

I've caught myself going back into old habits and I'm fighting it. God's called me to this adventure and I have to look at it with excitement and passion and not fear. This is going to be a good season. This has been a good season. God is still God, and I am his daughter.

tired

film shoots are exhausting.... just incase you were unaware of it

Process

It always the same thing.. Satan always hits me with everything at the same time. And he waits until I'm tired and exhausted to do it. To when I'm already at a weak vulnerable spot. And it gets me down. I would be lying if I said it wasn't a downer. But through my struggle I remember his promises that I am his child. That he loves me and has great plans for me. And even though this is a broken season a season where i feel like I'm being stripped and stretched and pulled in every direction, it's going to be a good thing. And Satan only attacks because he's scared of the God thing that's coming.

I'm working on my relationships and trying to be more open and honest instead of hiding like I tend to do and yes even though I brush a lot of things off my shoulders, it's not all healthy to do. I don’t always have to be strong and tough. And it scares me to be in this place of brokenness but I need it. I need t to see the things God wants me to get rid of. The deep things that I didn’t realize still had root in my life.

This is a painful season and adding school and friends and family and all of there things into the mix doesn’t make it easier. But it's a good a pain. The pain you feel after your body's had a good work out. It hurts but you know that it means things are changing in your body and you're getting healthier and better fit. These are the same spiritual pains I seem to have of late.

Uncomfortable, draining and exhausting, but good pain. Pain, that once I get through with it and breathe through it, I will be a stronger person. A different person. A better person.

It took me a while to see what this process was but I see it now. And seeing that its going to be good in the end is why I’m still fighting and sticking with it. Because if I give up now... then Satan wins. And if I give up now.. I’m saying that I didn’t trust God to take care of me and to provide for me. if i give up then I’m saying that I don’t believe God is who he says he is and that he wont keep his word to me. Me call God a liar? The thought devastates my spirit man.

I know how good my God is. And I know he would never give me anything I couldn’t handle. And I know that even when I can’t seem to hear what he's saying… He’s still by my side… He’s still in every breeze and every laugh and every moment I take to see what he's created. And what he's already done in my life.

I'm in my process, and I’m not the only one in this place. I'm not alone. God didn’t create us to handle things alone. And that's good.

No.

That's great.

Hank you God for being me God, and taking care of me and protecting me even in my own mistakes.

Love Jessica